Having Fun With Telemarketers

[PVVikeFan]

If they want to loan you money tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you sure could use the money.

If they start out with "How are you today"? say "I'm sure glad you asked because these days nobody seems to care and I have all these problems. My arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died......"?.

If they say they're john Doe from XYZ Company ask they to spell their name and the name of their company. Ask where it is located, how long it has been in business, how many people work there, and how they got into this line of work.

This works great if you are a male:
Telemarketer: "Hi, my name is Judy and I am with XYZ Company"?. You: Wait for a moment and with a real husky voice you ask "What are you wearing"?

Cry out in surprise "Judy is that you? Oh my goodness how have you been"??

Say NO over and over. Be sure to vary the sound of each one and try to keep a rhythmic tempo. This is the most fun if you can do it until they hang up on you.

If the telemarketer is trying to get you to sign up for the Family and Friends Plan, reply in as sinister a voice as you can "I don't have any friends.....would you like to be my friend"??

After you listen to the sales pitch ask the telemarketer to marry you. When they get all flustered tell them you can't give out your credit card number to a stranger.

Tell the telemarketer you work for the same company.

As soon as you realize it is a telemarketer put the phone down and scream OH MY GOD ! ! !

Tell the telemarketer you are busy right now but if they will leave a home phone number you will be glad to call them back later.

Tell the telemarketer you are on "home incarceration"? and ask if they could bring you some beer.

Ask them to fax the information to you and make up a number.

Say "Ok I will listen to you but I'm not wearing any clothes"?

Tell they you're hard of hearing and they need to speak louder...louder...louder

Tell them to talk VERY SLOWLY so you can write down EVERY WORD.

[Jason]

I like that! I used to answer the phone and say Wal-Mart Super Center how may I help you? They would usually apoligize for calling two or three times and hang up.

Claim to be psychotic, then begin to tell them with just a little more info, name , phone number- you can tell their future. Mostly it is rather bleak, B&E, some things missing, say I'm beginning to "see" that you are worried about a sick relative, give me their name and number and I'l tell ya if I can "see" anything about them. [img]/LDPforum/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

[imported_hhstigerfan]

When telemarketers call for my parents I always tell them they're out back diggin' up taters.

[imported_Skeptical]

i like talkin in spanish and when they start talkin in spanish go damn i don't no any spanish bye

[one1one]

haha....when i am really bored....REALLY bored i just start talking to them and asking them a bunch of questions for a long time and keep letting them try to talk me into something and then all the sudden i just say im not interested and hang up

[Football_Queen]

I do stuff like that too, once I sang to them.. OH SAY CAN YOU SEE BY THE DAWNS EARLY LIGHT......

I don't think they liked my singing.

Something else I do when I get alot of junk mail - mostly the credit card applications......they have a prepaid envelope inside so I gather all the junk mail up, put it in that envelope and send it right back to em.

There is just no sense in wasting a good envelope!

[imported_Indian]

When they ask for you or one of your family members tell them that they've deceased. They'll never bother you again.